How The Grump Stole Trollmas
by XxRosieChibixX
Summary: The not-so-cleverly-written retelling of a childhood classic, in Troll form!


A little something different from my main story. Enjoy!

* * *

Soft, cheery music began to play, hushing the audience, both trolls and bergens alike. The curtains start to part away, revealing the scene; a village of pods surrounded by trees. Fake snow sprinkled from above, and from the sides, young trolls dressed in bright red and green outfits with jingling bells danced their way to the middle of the stage, singing happily. Some waved to their parents, who waved back. With everyone in place, a familiar voice spoke up from somewhere offstage.

 **Narrator:**

 _ **Once upon a time, in a small meadow surrounded by a forest,**_

 _ **Lived the jolliest of all creatures, that always sang as a chorus,**_

 _ **This place, the lively Troll Village, home of the trolls,**_

"It's the happiest place of all, with the happiest of souls!" The young actors yelled as they danced around the stage. The audience clapped for them, enjoying the show so far.

 **Narrator:**

 _ **The trolls loved to dance, to play and to sing,**_

 _ **And hug every hour, when their bracelets start to ring,**_

 _ **And every troll in Troll Village would say, with a great big shout:**_

"That the season of Trollmas was the best, without a doubt!" The actors yelled again together, throwing fake snow around and hugging one another.

 **Narrator:**

 ** _Every tree was dressed in bright lights and holly,_**

 ** _Every pod was decorated to be the prettiest and most jolly,_**

 ** _It was time for hot chocolates, presents and warm apparels_**

 ** _Most important of all, it was a time for Trollmas carols!_**

The young actors took the cue and lined up to face the audience. They joined hands and began to sing.

 _"Have a holly jolly Trollmas, it's the best time of the year,_

 _I just know, that there'll be snow, so let's all sing with cheer,_

 _Have a holly jolly Trollmas, and in case you didn't hear,_

 _Oh by golly have a holly jolly Trollmas this year!"_

They finished singing their abbreviated version of the song. They audience clapped again, with more vigor at the performance.

 **Narrator:**

 ** _Yes, every troll in Troll Village loved Trollmas a lot,_**

 ** _But the grey troll that lived on the edge of the forest, in fact, did not._**

The background scenery was shifted a little to the right, revealing a denser forest and a set of boulders with a sign that said "GET LOST." The actors took a little bit longer to walk to the right as well to follow the scene.

A male troll sprang out into the stage, with the biggest frown he could muster. He began his line.

"I HATE-"

"Look it's Branch!" A couple of trolls and bergens happily shouted, clapping harder.

"Wait, he's not grey anymore! That's wrong!" One of the younger members of the audience pointed out.

"Just pretend he is." The Narrator whisper-shouted to the audience.

"Oh, okay." The young troll complied.

Branch cleared his throat.

"I said, I. HATE. TROLLMAS!" He hollered. The actors gave a collective gasp.

 **Narrator:**

 ** _The Grump hated Trollmas, and every troll there ever was_**

 ** _No troll knew why, we guessed it was just because!_**

At this point Branch began chasing the young actors, who did their best to look frightened, despite their squeals of laughter.

 **Narrator:**

 ** _It could be, perhaps, because he never danced, played, or sing,_**

 ** _Or that he not even had a hug time bracelet, for which every hour to ring_**

 ** _Perhaps he was too grey, both in body and in mind,_**

 ** _In which he finds it hard to ever be kind._**

"He's still not grey!" The same child in the audience pointed out again, prompting his parents to shush him.

A loop of hair quickly wrapped around Branch, dragging him offstage, to the confusion of the young actors he had been chasing.

"HEY WHAT THE-" SPLASH.

He was thrown back out into the stage, now dripping wet in grey paint. He glared at the unseen culprit. A few of the actors and audience members suppressed their giggles.

"Much better!"

"Just wait 'till this is over you-" Branch harshly whispered.

"Ahem!" The Narrator started up again.

 **Narrator:**

 ** _But perhaps what it was, the most likely reason of all,_**

 ** _Was that his heart was simply two sizes too small!_**

From above, large hearts dropped down over the young actors, showing how big their hearts were. A much smaller heart hovered lowly over Branch, slightly crooked. He jumped up to clutch the paper heart and ripped it to shreds. He crossed his arms and frowned at the audience.

 **Narrator:**

 ** _Whatever the reason may be, whatever was the case,_**

 ** _He hated Trollmas, he wanted it gone without a trace!_**

"And it will be gone, for I have a scheme!" Branch addressed the audience. "To destroy Trollmas this year, and crush every troll's dream!"

The stage darkened and a spotlight focused on Branch as he began a wicked tirade.

"And it could not come sooner, for tomorrow it starts,

The most annoying day of the year, it tears my head apart!

When every little troll all day will hug, dance and cheer

And make so, SO much noise, I don't want to hear!

They'll feast on sickening sweets

And give gifts to each other

But worst, they carol in the streets

Singing one song after another!

All that terrible singing, I hate it all so

I want it ALL gone, I want it to GO!

But tonight is the night, for it to all end,

Just watch, you'll see, THIS TROLLMAS I WILL SUSPEND!"

He cackled evilly as the young actors joined hands and sang another song, warm light focused on them now.

 _"You're a mean one, Mr. Grump! Your heart is truly cold!_

 _You're as cuddly as a stink bug, You're as charming as clumps of mold._

 _Mr. Grump! Stay away from you we were told!_

 _Your a gray troll, Mr. Grump! There's no color from head to toe!_

 _Your sneer is very scary, and hateful words you always throw._

 _Mr. Grump! It's no wonder your skin has no glow!"_

The audience clapped as the curtains closed and the lights brightened up again. Many got up from their seats to stretch out a bit.

* * *

"Act Two will begin in about ten minutes, everyone, so please enjoy some complimentary hot chocolate while you wait!" Poppy announced, before turning her microphone off.

"Everything in order, Suki?" Poppy asked the dark pink troll. She was messing with the sound equipment she had been in charge of.

"A-Ok, Popps, just going to try and make it a little louder for this next scene." She fiddled with a dial. "This thing is definitely more complicated than my beetle mixers, though."

"Alright, you do that, I better check on everyone else!" Poppy made her way on to the stage.

Biggie and Guy Diamond were replacing the background prop with a new one while a few other trolls rolled out the wheeled beds and fake present props.

She couldn't see Cooper and Smidge from above, but it was sounding like the former needed help getting himself untangled from some rope.

Fuzzbert, their writer and director for the play, shot wads of script paper at some of the young trolls, mumbling underneath his hair a demand for a quick rehearsal over the next song. Rather than follow his orders, they began having an impromptu "snowball" fight with the wads of paper, pealing laughter as they ran about.

Satin assisted some of the young trolls into their pajama costumes while Chenille used a small fan to help dry Branch out faster, who had his arms crossed, looking as grumpy as he did in the act.

"Sorry, Branch," Chenille apologized, "It had to be done. I don't think that kid was going to let up."

"Whatever," he grumbled, "Just a little warning next time would be nice, _Satin_." He leered at the other part of the twin, who ignored him in favor of buttoning down one of the actors.

"I thought it was a little funny." Poppy giggled as she made her way to them. "So lighten up, Mr. Grump!"

And he did, at the sight of her; he gave the barest of a half-smile. The pink troll literally shined with holiday cheer, so much that she could compete with the glow globes put atop every Trollmas tree, or the bergen-made star topper that would be going on top of the Troll Tree this year.

"Poppy, for the sake of the play, he really needs to _not_ lighten up!" Satin smacked him lightly on the shoulder. "So dim it down, _lover boy_ , before we add an extra coat of grey." She went back to putting night caps on the actors.

Branch fought the urge to scream something rude back at her. He knew Satin meant well, she was just being extra annoying to him so he'd be extra grouchy for the play. _Maybe_. It helped to think that way, at least.

"I think you're dry enough, Branch." Chenille started, forcing him to focus on her instead of her twin. "Let's get your suit on pronto!"

"Right, okay." He calmed down again, and turned to his pink haired girlfriend. "Wish me luck, _Narrator_." He smiled softly and teasingly.

"Break a leg, _Mr. Grump_!" Poppy joked back. She leaned in for a good luck kiss, which he eagerly tried to reciprocate.

"What did we just say?!" Both Satin and Chenille squeezed their way in between, blocking them, making Branch growl. "Fuzzbert, Poppy's trying to ruin your play!" Satin tattle-tailed.

The green haired troll immediately hobbled his way over to them. He pushed Poppy back towards her podium, mumbling frantically. Poppy had no choice but to comply with his demands.

"Good luck, everyone!" The pink troll called out, more amused than annoyed by her friend's well meaning antics.

"Had fun, little miss troublemaker?" Suki teased when Poppy returned.

"I could've had more." Poppy winked. She took a sip of water and picked up her script to reread the next scene.

Meanwhile, Branch was still being nitpicked by both twins. His Jolly Nick suit was long and raggedy around the edges. The fake bright green beard, covered in the jingle gold bells, itched him.

"Unhappy thoughts, Branch. Think unhappy!" Chenille reminded him as she wrapped a string of even more bells around his grey-flaked hair.

"I don't think I could possibly handle that." He deadpanned. He was ignored.

Showtime was up again in one minute. Fuzzbert hollered as best as he could some last minute instructions. Cooper and Smidge were ready to bring down the moon and stars props, Biggie had adjusted the lighting before joining Guy Diamond at the curtain pulls. The actors got in their beds and started a competition over who could snore the most believable. Suki gave the a-ok at her little sound booth station, and Poppy gave a thumbs up at the microphone. With baited breath, Branch grasped the large empty burlap bag over his shoulder.

Fuzzbert stuck a foot out and counted down. Suki started the background music up.

* * *

The whispering crowd quieted down once more as the curtains parted. The backdrop was now a closer up, detailed set of several pods. In front of each pod were beds in which the actors fake snoozed (or...actually snoozed), along with a decorated felted Trollmas tree and a few presents made of cardboard. The moon and star props had dropped down slowly and more fake snow fluttered down.

 **Narrator:**

 ** _On the night of Trollmas Eve, every troll within sight,_**

 ** _Had fallen asleep, expecting to wake up with delight,_**

 ** _But little they know of the Grump's nasty scheme,_**

 ** _In which to ruin Trollmas, and crush every troll's dream._**

Branch entered left stage looking as sneaky as possible, quietly tiptoeing his way towards the first pod. He was so silent it unnerved the audience witnessing the scene.

 **Narrator:**

 ** _He tip toed to the first pod, as silent as he can be,_**

 ** _And took all the presents, he took them with glee,_**

 ** _And also the Trollmas tree, and even the berrycake,_**

 ** _Despite the fact sweets gave the Grump a belly ache._**

Branch had swiped the fake tree and presents easily and put them in his burlap bag before tip toeing to the next 'pod.'

 **Narrator:**

 ** _From pod to pod, he snuck in each through the night,_**

 ** _And left not a scrap of Trollmas decorations within sight,_**

 ** _Not even the holly, the bright lights or warm apparels,_**

 ** _He even snatched up everyone's book of Trollmas carols!_**

 ** _The carol books he had taken with the upmost glee._**

"Now they can't sing those stupid songs and annoy me!" Branch meanly chuckled.

 **Narrator:**

 ** _At last the Grump had reached the last pod in the village,_**

 ** _And went to steal the last few things, to complete his pillage,_**

 ** _But as he stuffed the last Trollmas tree in his sack,_**

 ** _He was startled by Cindie-Lu, who had woken up for a snack._**

Branch expected any moment to feel the tap on his shoulder. It didn't happen.

The crowd was silent. The Narrator cleared her throat.

 **Narrator:**

 ** _He was startled by Cindie-Lu, who had woken up for a snack._**

Not a peep came from the actor.

 **Narrator:**

 ** _Cindie-Lu woke up with a fright after the Grump accidentally startled her by stubbing his toe and screaming very, very loudly!_**

"OW! A...LOOSE...NAIL! OW!" Branch hopped on one foot, pretending to be in pain. It wasn't very convincing.

The actor still didn't wake up. Fuzzbert started crying on Guy Diamond's shoulder.

Branch harshly smacked the corner of the bed with his not-so-heavy sack.

The little troll sat upright from bed, eyes wide and swinging her head from side to side in confusion, before realizing what was happening. From her bed she gave the audience a horrified stare, completely mute. Her mother waved from the audience in encouragement.

"Mr. Jolly Nick," Branch whispered to her, "why are you tak-"

"MR. JOLLY NICK WHY ARE YOU TAKING MY TROLLMAS TREE WHY FAKE CRYING!" She screamed at him. The audience broke out in laughter.

"Dear little girl, there's no need for you to cry" Branch started when the crowd managed to quiet down.

"The light's are broken here, so I'm to take it with me,

And fix it right up for you, and I'm doing it for free!"

"OKAY GOODNIGHT JOLLY NICK!" The little troll quickly lied back down in bed, covered herself in her blanket, and loudly fake snored.

"That was, umm...quite easy...she was...uhh...easy to trick!" Branch had to improvise his line to rhyme it. Unfortunately, Poppy would have to as well, as they went off-script, so she took a few awkward seconds longer to start narrating again.

 **Narrator:**

 ** _And so Cindie-Lu went right back to sleep,_**

 ** _As the Grump stuffed her things in his bag very deep,_**

 ** _And left the pod and dragged his stuffed bag to the forest,_**

 ** _Where he eventually had to stop to...relax his sore wrist!_**

Poppy exhaled in relief as she finished the verse. They were back on track with the story now. Branch, however, had to pretty much sprint back to the left side as Poppy went too fast, making plenty of noise as he stomped along.

 **Narrator:**

 ** _At the break of dawn every troll in Troll Village rose up with joy,_**

 ** _Only to find themselves the victims of the Grump's evil ploy._**

The actors leapt out of bed with happy faces, and looked around in confusion. As they stumbled around, a new background dropped down over the other. It was the village, without Trollmas decorations, but a lot of snow.

Narrator:

 _ **From atop his boulder with a sack full of loot,**_

 _ **He let out a cackle, he let out a whoot.**_

Branch climbed up the fake boulder, shaking his fists up in gleeful victory.

"I've done it, I've done it! Trollmas is no more!

Those trolls must be frosty, they surely must be sore!

No sweets to devour, no presents to unwrap,

Not even their carol books, not even a scrap!

They'll be too sorrowful to dance or to play or to sing

They won't hug each other when their bracelets make a ding!

They won't make a noise, they won't want to cheer

For they can no longer celebrate Trollmas this year!"

 **Narrator:**

 ** _With glee in his eyes, a sneer stretched wide,_**

 ** _He carefully listened to sweet silence, chest bursting with pride!_**

Branch put a hand to his ear, listening. Meanwhile, the actors lined up and joined hands, swaying back and forth as they hummed happily, at first quietly, but growing louder. Warm light brightened their faces in a lovely glow.

 **Narrator:**

 ** _But silent it wasn't, a hum rose from the snow,_**

 ** _At first very soft, but it started to grow,_**

 ** _The hum was not sad, the hum was not mad,_**

 ** _There were no words, but it still sounded very glad,_**

 ** _For every troll in the village, old, young, big, and small,_**

 ** _Hummed in harmony without their carol books at all!_**

 ** _The Grump was puzzled:_**

"How could it be so?" Branch questioned the audience.

"That they feel no sorrow, that they feel no woe?

I've taken their sweets, they have not one present,

Yet they hum so happily, they hum so pleasant!"

 **Narrator:**

 ** _He wondered and wondered, then an idea gave him a shock,_**

 ** _A shock so strong he almost fell off his rock._**

"Is there more to Trollmas than loud noises and cheer?

Is there something I'm missing, something I don't hear?

Even without words, they can hum to a song,

Perhaps I didn't know what Trollmas was, perhaps I've been wrong!

It matters not, the fancy gifts or the dazzling lights."

Branch looked over at Poppy, feeling joy flood in as he spoke.

"It's happiness from the heart that truly incites,

And the carols they sing, the lyrics mean nothing,

It's the love from inside that truly means something."

With a wide, relaxed smile, he closed his eyes and clutched his chest with both hands.

 **Narrator:**

 ** _And alas, a miracle occurred they say_**

 ** _For the Grump's small heart grew three sizes that day_**

From above a huge felted bright pink heart hovered above branch's head.

"He also went from grey to a pretty teal!" Satin spoke up loudly before dumping teal paint over him with a big splash. The audience and even the humming actors erupted in laughter.

Branch opened his eyes, but his smile did not fade. He did a perfect moonwalk off the stage and out of sight.

"Wait, what are y-NO! NO!" Shrill screaming was heard.

He returned to stage with a bigger smile, and a little less paint on the frontside. Of course the audience clapped.

Poppy did her best to suppress her giggles before she could continue on.

 **Narrator:**

 ** _He sprinted to the village, heavy sack in tow_**

 ** _And joined in by singing, words he somehow know_**

Branch carried the sack over to the actors and sang.

 _"I don't need a lot for Trollmas, there is just one thing I need,_

 _I don't care about the presents underneath the Trollmas tree,_

 _I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know,_

 _Make my wish come true, all I want Trollmas is you!"_

He used his hair to grab Poppy from her podium; she squealed along the way.

"Branch!" Poppy laughed, "That's not the song!"

"It's is now!" He laughed back. She sang along with him.

 _"I don't want a lot for Trollmas, there is just one thing I need,_

 _and I don't care about the presents underneath the Trollmas tree_

 _I don't need to hang my stocking there upon the fireplace_

 _Good ol' Nick won't make me happy with a toy on Trollmas day"_

The actors and audience joined in:

 _I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know,_

 _Make my wish come true, all I want for Trollmas is you!"_

Everyone joined in the song merrily. Suki even broke out her bug mixers while Guy Diamond swung around like a disco ball. Somehow, a laser show started as well.

* * *

An hour and a couple more holiday songs later, the Snack Pack were all that were left on stage. They took a quick break from cleaning up after everyone; the play had ended up becoming a party and the party got very carried away. Fuzzbert mumble-screamed in a corner vowing to never make plays again.

"Tomorrow the Bergen's want to share the tale for their own holiday, The Krooked Krimple of Bergn Winter-dag."

Poppy shuddered. "Bridget told me that one. It's downright scary!"

Suki shrugged. "What'd you expect? The Bergen's been miserable for so many years they're bound to have equally miserable traditions, even at this time of the year."

"So what, 'How The Grump Stole Trollmas' is _tradition_ now?" Branch smirked at them, hot cocoa in hand. "Don't even pretend it's not about me, I'm older than most of you and I've never heard of it before!" He sipped while staring knowingly at them.

They gave him sheepish looks.

"You got us, we...sort of made it up some years ago." Biggie rubbed the back of his neck. "It was mostly just gossip and rumors we pieced together. Fuzzbert had a draft of it for almost a decade."

"But don't worry, sweetie, it was just in good fun, we weren't doing it to be mean!" Poppy wrapped her arms around him. "No hard feelings, right?" She gave him shiny, bumblebee eyes.

He laughed, wrapping his arms around her as well in a hug. "Of course! I wouldn't have joined in the play if I was offended. Besides," He smugly smiled, "How many trolls can say they starred in their own story?"

Poppy ruffled his hair. "Careful Branch, that ego might make your head three sizes too big!" She teased.

"More of me for you to hug." He winked, then turned to Satin. "And speaking of hugs, you look like you could use another one yourself." He teased.

She glared, clutching her hot cocoa. Her usual outfit was replaced with a red and green version lined in white faux fur. She had to make it herself when hers got ruined.

" _I'm good._ " She hissed.

"Suit yourself, _Miss Grump_." He chortled, earning a high five from Cooper.

The paint war that followed suit ended up costing them another hour of clean up.

* * *

Welp, that was fun. I'll be focusing on my other story that I got this out of my system.

I'm gonna go die now, see you later, alligators!


End file.
